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 Post subject:
New postPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:36 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 11:31 pm
Posts: 280
Location: TMC
hold your breath, kaya nu ba to?

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 Post subject:
New postPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:39 am 
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yaikss

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 Post subject:
New postPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:48 am 
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Posts: 280
Location: TMC
kaya nu ba to?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcmFgxYGilk


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 Post subject:
New postPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:28 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:42 am
Posts: 182
Location: Philippines
PH Care

Mag-kasintahan naguusap...

Boy:Honey bat ganyan pa rin amoy ng ano mo e d ba binilhan na kita ng ph care d ba?

Girl:Ewan ko nga kung bakit e, Pero umiinom naman ako ng isang kutsara araw-araw

_________________
Kawikaan 19:17 Ang naaawa sa dukha ay nagpapautang sa Panginoon, at ang kaniyang mabuting gawa ay babayaran sa kaniya uli.


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 Post subject:
New postPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 7:42 pm 
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Posts: 411
Pagkatapos ng 10 years na pagtratrabaho sa Saudi umuwi si Mister. So pagdating na pagdating niya bumili siya ng mga bagong gamit sa bahay, natunugan e2 kaya niloob sila; ninakaw lahat ng gamit, pera at ni-rape ang kanyang asawa...
Mrs: Hon, bakit ka umiiyak dahil ba ninakaw ang mga gamit natin
Mr: Hindi, kaya pa nating bilhin uli yon
Mrs: Pala eh, dahil ba sa wala na tayong pera
Mr: Di rin, pera lang yon at kikitain ko pa yon
Mrs: Eh anong pinag-e-emot mo? dahil ba sa ni-rape ako? di ko naman kagustuhan yon ah...
Mr: Say mo! Kitang kita ko noong hinugot ng mama yong kanya hinabol mo pa???????????

May dalaga na gustong magtrabaho overseas ang nagpa physical sa isang hospital
Doc: Eneng ang laki laki ng puki mo. Eneng ang laki laki ng puki mo.
Ms: Si doc naman inulit pa
Doc: Di naman ah, isang beses ko lang sinabi, baka "nag-echo" na
Pasok si Nars
Doc: Bakit daw
Nars: Doc hihiramin ko sana yong ball pen ninyo pero bakit thermometer ang nasa bulsa ninyo
Doc: Siyete kaninong puwit kaya napasaksak yon

Quote of the day:

"A good friend is like a good bra -
Hard to find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always lifts you up
Makes you look better

And - always - close to your heart ".


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 Post subject:
New postPosted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:40 pm 
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Posts: 411
FINAL TEST

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a beautiful, sexy nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she came to the final priest, Carlos.

Poor Carlos, as she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in some nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
He bent over to pick it up......then all the other bells started ringing!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Collections of BoyBastos & BoyTigas Jokes(MaturePeopleOnly)
New postPosted: Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:12 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
Somewhere in the Middle East
We were on our way to work when one of our carpool drivers (Courtney) was whining about the way the Arabs drove…and keep yupping
Courtney: These people drives me nuts, they are crazy!
So I asked: What do you call the cloth they put around their heads?
Courtney: “Rags”
So I said: Don’t you Americans have an expression that when a female gets “cranky” you say “SHE’s on the RAGS” (TINUTUPAK)?
Courtney: Yes
Same here, but they are always “ON THE RAGS …” kaya lang kako kayong mga babae sa baba... d2; sila, sa ulo
Courtney: Hmm…U are crazier than them
Well say ko: Thanks for the compliment!
So one night, it was my turn to drive and I was with Ofelia (Filipinang nagkakape)
Ofelia: Ay Bert ang bilis bilis mo... nakakatakot d2 sa lane na kinuha mo
So sagot ko: Ay bruha, e2 ang pinakasafe na lane, dahil pag nasa right hand lane ka maraming pumapasok o nage-exit, sa midlle lane naman pag nagkaroon ng aberya may sasakyan sa kaliwa at kanan mo so ipit ka. At least d2 sa left lane may shoulder kang magagamit para umiwas.
Ofelia: Ayaw ko nga…kasi ini-ilawan ang PUWET ko!
So I said: Ay sosyal…anong gus2 mong “ilawan” HARAP MO???


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 Post subject: Re: Collections of BoyBastos & BoyTigas Jokes(MaturePeopleOnly)
New postPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 12:39 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
HORSE: Mahal na Prinsesa, dati akong prinsipe na isinumpa.
PRINSESA: Ha? Pag hinalikan ba kita, babalik ka sa pagiging Prinsipe?
HORSE: Malakas ang sumpa, di kaya ng halik…kelangan chupa!

PRIEST: Kaw ha, nanilip ka raw kay sister!
SACRISTAN: Sori po.
PRIEST: Anong nasilip mo sa kanya?
SACRISTAN: Wala po father, kasi nakaharang po pwet niyo!!!


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 Post subject: PRINCIPALS ANSWERS
New postPosted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 1:16 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd
grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would
give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry : "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go
to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks : "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry
in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "

PRINCIPAL'S ANSWER:
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go
to the 3rd grade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
PRINCIPAL: BREAST
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
PRINCIPAL: DICK
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
PRINCIPAL: POOH (SHIT)
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
PRINCIPAL: CUNT
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
PRINCIPAL: DICK
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
PRINCIPAL: PEEH
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
PRINCIPAL: FUCK


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 Post subject: OAJ (Orig Acoje Joke)
New postPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 4:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
Atos finally found a GF, so, he tried very hard 2 convince yong GF na cla ay magtabi…she finally give in
GF: "Cge na nga pero isang beses lang ha!"
So, they had sex at nong matapos cla…GF being her first time goes...
"Akala ko isang beses lang? Bakit ang daming beses mong ipinasok at ilinabas yon???"
Atos: "OMG! Isang beses lang yon ah..."
GF: "Ah basta! Sinungaling ka! Sinira mo na ang aking harap at hanggang ngayon dumudugo pa…Hu! Hu! Hu! Hu!"


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 Post subject: Re: Collections of BoyBastos & BoyTigas Jokes(MaturePeopleOnly)
New postPosted: Wed Oct 14, 2009 6:51 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
Noong bukas pa ang Subic Naval Base ay dumaong ang isang Aircraft Carrier
So ligaw ang mga PUSIT (SQUID; slang na tawag sa mga Navy). Finally, nakahanap ng babae ang isa sa mga bagitong pusit:
Pusit: How much?
Pukpuk: $100
Pusit: K!
So off they go at kumuha sila ng kuwarto at nagtabi
When they started having sex reklamo si Pukpuk: W8 w8 that's not the hole
Pusit: Well, if so, sa mahal ng ibinayad ko sa iyo siguro puwede na akong gumawa ng sarili kong butas!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Collections of BoyBastos & BoyTigas Jokes(MaturePeopleOnly)
New postPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 4:16 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
Si Pedro dumating galing Saudi Arabia:

Pag kauwi sabi nya kay Inday: Inday 5 taon akong tigang grabe to nilulumot na ata

sabi naman ni Inday: naku Pedro paano yan may regla ako

sabi ni Pedro: ganun ba? eh di sa pwet na lang dy

sabi ni Inday: sori, may almuranas ako

K! sabi ni Pedro: sa bunganga na lang ha

sabi ni Inday: eh kabubunot ng ipin ko

K! sabi ni Pedro: sa ilong na lang kaya

sagot ni Inday: may pimples

nagalit si Pedro sabay hila sa ulo ni Inday at sabay sabi kay Inday: wag mong sabihing, may luga ka!

sagot ni Inday: mayroon nga (joke by: Bonthird)

Trick or Treat…WITCH JOKE:

Question: Bakit walang panty ang mga witches pag lumilipad

Answer: To get a better GRIP!
Kaya walang witch na lalaki dahil mahuhulog sa walis at pag nahuli di rin puwedeng i-STAKE (tuhugin).


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 Post subject: Re: Collections of BoyBastos & BoyTigas Jokes(MaturePeopleOnly)
New postPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 12:25 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
July, bakit ang aso pag matigas ang ulo SINISIPA?
ang bata pag matigas ang ulo PINAPALO?
pero bakit ang TITI pag matigas ang ulo HINAHAPLOS at SINUSUBO?

3 nuns died and went to heaven where they were met by St. Peter:
St.Peter says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want"
1st nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and POOF she's gone
2nd says, "I want to be Madonna" and POOF she's gone
3rd says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini"
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says
"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell"
The nun then takes a newspaper and hands it to him
He reads the paper and starts laughing. "No Sister; your eyes must be really bad but wants real actions, this says 'Sahara Pipeline, laid by 500 men in 7 days'!"


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 Post subject: Some SEX VARIATIONS?
New postPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:04 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:
Two men were yapping. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"You know, WHEN: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.
"The problem is," she complained, "He wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you attain orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "Hon, you're never home when it happens!"


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 Post subject: Peehpeeh Time
New postPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:34 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
GERMANY
My 3rd duty station was in Hessisch Oldendorf, Germany. They picked us up at the Airport in Hamburg and somewhere along the way the bus driver pulled over the “Autobahn”, took a few steps, and relieved himself on the side of the road.
I was laughing my ass off coz I thought peeing on the side of the road is genuinely Macho Pinoy stuff (Duh!).
One of the young American ladies commented…”EEEWWW! That’s GROSS…”
The German driver overheard her comments. Elated, he boarded the bus and shook the lady’s hand, when he came back, and said: “Danke Schone meine Frau (translated—Thank you my lady)…meine es normal!”
The lady was perplexed and asked: “What was that all about?”
A translator goes: “Well, he thought when you said GROSS; he assumed that you told him that he was endowed as “GROSSE” means ENORMOUS or BIG!
So the young American lady mumbled: “Yuck! THAT’S REALLY GROSS…”


Last edited by Norberto Cacabelos Jr. on Wed Nov 25, 2009 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Peehpeeh Time
New postPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
PHILIPPINES/MALAYSIA
During the term of President Ramos, the Malaysian Prime Minister paid a state visit to the Philippines.
On their way to Malacanyang Palace, Prime Minister Mahatir noticed Pinoys peeing and aiming at the walls???
So, he commented to Fidel that: “In our country, we have public toilets everywhere and Malaysians don’t do this nasty stuff.”
Ramos just smiled and said that: “Give them a break…they’re just relieving themselves”
As statesman, PM Mahatir returned the favor and invited President Ramos to Malaysia.
On their way to the PMs residence, Ramos noticed a bunch of guys peeing and aiming at the walls???
President Ramos saw an opportunity to get back at PM
Mahatir so he said: “I thought Malaysians don’t do this nasty stuff.”
Mahatir simply smiled and said: “Yes, Malaysians don’t. I’m giving those guys a break coz they are your homeboys…PINOY CONSTRUCTION WORKERS!!!”


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 Post subject: Re: Collections of BoyBastos & BoyTigas Jokes(MaturePeopleOnly)
New postPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 10:04 pm 
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Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 10:45 pm
Posts: 311
TILL DEAHT DO US PART

An ageing couple were afraid there might be no life after death, so they made a pact that whoever went first would return with news of what lies beyond. The husband was the first to go, and shortly after his funeral, his spirit paid a visit.
'Is that you, Harry?' said his wife.
'Yes, I've come back, like we agreed,' he replied.
'What is like?' she asked.
'Well I get up in the morning and I have sex. Then I have breakfast, go off to the golf course and have sex; I sunbathe and have sex twice. Then I have lunch, go around the golf course again, then have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper it's back to the golf course, then have sex untill late at night,'
'Oh Harry, you really are in heaven,' said his astuonded wife.
'Not exactly,' I'm a rabbit in a golf course in Surrey.'

'Courtesy by the WIVES' BOOK who's good at everything'


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 Post subject: Re: Collections of BoyBastos & BoyTigas Jokes(MaturePeopleOnly)
New postPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2009 5:16 am 
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Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 4:14 pm
Posts: 828
Location: china
mwaaaaa more pleaseeeeeee hehehe manong boy naalala mo pa pala un hehehe more jokes pa manong boy
kaarubang albi meron ka palang tinatago dyan more pa hehehe


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 Post subject: “BE CAREFUL WHEN U WISH”
New postPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2009 11:55 am 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
May isang ngongong pumalaot at on the way nakakita siya ng lamp na lumulutang. So, kinuha niya eto, pinaghahalikan at binuksan :idea:
Well, well, well as the story goes…labas si Genie offering the traditional 3 wishes :!:
Wish #1: Ngusto ko raming kain
Genie: There! and foods were plentiful :)
Ngo2: Ngusto ko laki haus
Genie: Presto! a big house complete with appliances and furniture :D
Last wish: Ngusto ko maging POGI
Genie: Maususunod po…POOF!
Ngo2: (KINAPA ang mukha), Galing naman at balbas sarado na ako pero bakit may hiwa ang mukha ko :?:
Genie: Master ang pakinig ko sa wish mo ay gusto mong maging PUKI :?
Reklamo si Ngo2: "LANG NGANYANAN" POGI last wish ko… pero ang bigkas at pakinig ni Genie PUKI...siyempre hirit si bida at i-reverse na lang daw ang wish, di bale ng ngongo huwag lang ekek (hurt naman yan?)
But Genie stood her ground: Sori Master at hanggang 3 wishes lang talaga ako…so, HAVE FUN and ENJOY na lang neh :!: :lol: :!: :lol: :!: :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Collections of BoyBastos & BoyTigas Jokes(MaturePeopleOnly)
New postPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 8:06 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:31 pm
Posts: 411
10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favour nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.

Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the office at the end of the day.

Moral:

Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it :!: :!: :!: Yong mga "sexten" hours diyan :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: pls heed :lol: :lol: :lol:


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