ACOJE ONLINE COMMUNITY

Warning:

This thread is for those PEOPLE who are not sentisitve enough to take the "Garbage Can" Jokes.
Those whose sensitivity will be threatened, KINDLY GET OUT OF THIS THREAD ASAP before the Jokes set your Body to Heat and Move your Hips to Fire!
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IF YOU INSIST:

Remember, Free Will, Choice and Personal Decision made you ---- ON YOUR OWN VOLITION --- ENTER THIS THREAD.
NOBODY FORCED YOU TO CLICK THIS THREAD. From the title itself you are prewarned already.

ENJOY THE GARBAGE!
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Mga Chong at Mga Chang:

Heto, mangolekta tayo ng Boy Bastos at Boy Tigas Jokes. Feel Free to write your "Green/Gabage Jokes Here"
Para pag nag meet tayo may Joke Time. hehehe.

PAKIUSAP LANG PO:

1) Sana Iallow ng moderator at owner eto. (May Adult Warning naman eh. Sobra Sobra Pa)
2) Sa mga Green Minded, Dito na lang sa thread na to kayo magpost/magkalat. Wag na sa iba iba pa. (to maintain peace and order) NO LOITERING AND NO LITTERING KUNG BAGA. Check na lang natin what is applicable.)

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Bert Una Ka Na!

OK CGE UNA AKO..HEHEHEHE...e2 ang gus2 ko...walalang..hahaha...

KIND'A GRIN...(just for fun)

PATUWAD

isang araw sumakay ng bus si lola...
KONDUKTOR: lola pasensya na po at punuan na...payag po ba kayo ng nakatayo?
LOLA: tinamaan ka ng lintek iho...kung inabot mo lang ang kabataan ko eh kahit patuwad payag ako!!!



PANTY FETISH

sa kumpisalan;
BUGOY: Father,patawarin nyo po ako sa mga pagnanakaw ko ng mga panty sa mga sampayan.may panty fetish po kasi ako...
FATHER: bakit iho,gaano na ba karami ang mga naipon mong panty?
BUGOY: mahigit 50 na po father,bakit po?
FATHER: ahhh...ehhh...baka naman pwede mo ko bigyan kahit limang piraso lang.alam mo naman hanggang pantasya lang ako!!!


SALESWOMAN

A policeman arresting a prostitute;
PROSTI: why are you arresting me sir?
POLICEMAN: for selling sex.it's against our law...
PROSTI: sir,i am not selling sex
POLICEMAN: then what are you doing?
PROSTI: i'm a saleswoman sir..
POLICEMAN: then what are you selling if you are really a saleswoman?
PROSTI: sir,i am selling condoms with free demo!!!


BOBO

isang araw nagtalo ang mag ina;
NANAY: bobo ka talaga anak...1 to 10 lang hindi mo pa alam bilangin...
ANAK: mas bobo si tatay nay,kasi narinig ko sya minsan,sabi "tama na inday,hanggang tatlo lang talaga kaya ko!!!"


GATAS NG BAKA

TINDERO: bili na bili na kayo....ikaw manong bili ka po ng gatas ng baka,sampung piso lang po isang baso...
MANONG: ang mahal naman,may tig piso ba nyan?
TINDERO: meron po,pero kayo po dedede sa baka!!!

(ok guyz that's all for now;till next post)

Son: Ma, bakit kayo tumatalbog sa ibabaw ni daddy??

Mom: Wala anak, pinapaliit ko lang tiyan ng Daddy mo.

Son: Nye! Mapapagod ka lang kasi hinihipan din uli yan ni yaya!
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Mr: kung marunong ka lang sanang maglaba, eh di nakakatipid
sana
tayo ng 2000 sa maid.

Mrs: hmmph!! kung ikaw magaling sa kama, eh di nakatipid tayo
ng
7500 sa driver!
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Nanay: anak, hindi ka ba nahihiya??! linis ako nang linis dito
tapos ikaw, naglalaro lang jan?!!

Anak: Nay, hindi ba mas nakakahiya kung ako ang naglilinis jan
at ikaw ang naglalaro dito?? toink...

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customer (talking to a parrot): "Hoy! can you speak ha? can u
speak? BOBO!'....

Parrot: Yes, I can! Ikaw? Can u fly, ha? Can u fly? GAGO!

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Pari: sister, ikaw ba ang nasa CR? Kunin ko lang toothbrush ko.

Sister: Sandali, naka-panty lang ako.

Pari: Ok, antay ako.

Sister: pasok na. wala na ako panty!
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Prof: who among you experienced having sex with a ghost??

Juan raised his hand...

Prof: Really?? how does it feel to hav sex with a ghost?

Juan: Ay pucha! Akala ko goats!!

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Why I fired my Secretary. . .



Last week was my birthday
and I didn ' t feel very well
waking up on that morning.


I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!",
and possibly have a small present for me.


As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
" Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well,
that ' s marriage for you,
but the kids....
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn ' t say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
"Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.


I worked until one o ' clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, "You know,
It ' s such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane,
that ' s the greatest thing
I ' ve heard all day.
Let ' s go !"



We went to lunch.
But we didn ' t go
where we normally would go.
She c hose instead at a quite bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, "You know,
It ' s such a beautiful day...
We don ' t need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?"



I responded,
"I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?"
She said,
"Let ' s drop by my apartment,
it ' s just around the corner."


After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
" Boss, if you don ' t mind,
I ' m going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I ' ll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.


She went into the bedroom and,

after a couple of minutes,

she came out

carrying a huge birthday cake ...

Followed

by my wife,

my kids,

and dozens of my friends

and co-workers,

all singing "Happy Birthday".





And I just sat there...





On the couch...





Naked.

A married man died b4 sex.

Wife cut his penis & fixed it on d wall.

Every nyt she went 2 d wall & satisfy herself.

1 day, neighbor saw the routine.

He made a hole in d wall & removed the penis.

He put his penis & waited 4 his turn.

Lady came with a knife, cut d penis & said:

DARLING, LILIPAT NA TAYO NG BAHAY!

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Kinabukasan pagkatapos ng first nyt:

HUSBAND: Haay… ang sakit ng ulo ko, parang may BIYAK!

WIFE: Ako, ang saki ng biyak ko, parang may ULO!


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QUESTION: bakit laging present tense ang “I can think”?

ANSWER: kasi kung “I can thought”, bastos ang dating db?



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Boy, nahulog sa septic tank, sumigaw: SUNOG! SUNOG!

Dumating ang bombero, niligtas sya.

Tinanong “bakit SUNOG ang cnigaw mo?”

Boy: kung TAE ba cnigaw ko, pupunta kayo? TAE! TAE! Ganun!?

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SA MATH CLASS:

TITSER: Juan, kung ako’y may 5 anak sa unang asawa at 5 ulit sa pangalawa.

Samakatuwid meron akong….?

JUAN: taglay na kalandian, ma’am!

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ASUL… ASUL… ASUL ka elmas!

Haw ken yo do dat to ROWPA?

Yo hart my dawter….

Elmas, yor an ASUL!!

--- Anabelle Rama

Makikisingit po ha..hehe

Mrs: hon ibalang mo pa yay pusa ay..awit mod arawi..
Mr: ok
Mrs: o, akit alabian ka? Naibalang mo?
Mr: animal yan pusa, no agko tinumbok agko akapawil dya!

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Ina: di ba sinabi ko, pag hihipuan ka ng BF mo s dede say DONT! pag sa puki say STOP! Bakit nabuntis ka?
Anak: sabay pong hinipo eh, kaya sabi ko DONT STOP!!

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Bakit enjoy ang BABAE sumakay sa LALAKI keysa JEEP?

Kac ang JEEP pag cnabi m n malapit kana tumitigil;
sa LALAKi pag cnabi mo n malapit n, lalong bumibilis!!

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Wife: make love ta asawa?
Husband: andi ta manreregla ka
Wife: cge la
Husband: andi lanti ta dala dala baom, dugyot!
Wife: Bauninam, akina IGLESIA tay OTIN mo?

The bride tells her husband

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Sex in Español
What is sex in Español? “Vamos tumba la cama, entrada mi picoy tu fuerta, con atras abante; no pwersa pero sige rapido birada, cargada cemilya todo discarga..ole!!

SEX IN ESPAñOL

What is sex in Español? "Vamos tumba la cama, entrada mi picoy tu fuerta, con atras abante; no pwersa pero sige rapido birada, cargada cemilya todo discarga..ole!!

Dngerous to your health

GOVT WARNING: Eating female’s organ is dangerous to your health bcoz its 5% urine, 3% acidic, 2% fat & 90% addictive. Hehehe. Eat moderately.

Hold me closer
The woman says to her lover " Hold me closer , hold me closer , hold me closer " . And her male lover says " Any closer and the cotton comes off and the condom goes on ! " .
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first things first
when you wake up be sure you do SEX
S-Say gudmorning
E-Exersice
X-eXcited

cgurado ko napangiti kita
kaya gawing bisyo ang SEX sa umaga
hehehe

» Send this joke to friends.
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anak na bulol....
MAMA..anak puntahan mo nga tatay mo.
ANAK..batet po mama??
MAMA..sabihin mo papahilot ako sa kanya.
(tumakbo ang ana sa knyang papa)
ANAK..tatay!!tatay!!sabi mama iyutin mo daw sya.
PAPA..anak sabihin mo sa mama mo wla ako sa mode.
(takbo ulit ang anak sa kanyang mama)
ANAK..mama!!mama!! sabi papa wala daw po sya TAMOD.


waheheeheh^_________^
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3 w0rdz
3 words 6 letters 1 question that will surley brake a mans confindentz



............. IS IT IN????????
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Mobile Phone SEX ServiceMay isang lalake na tumawag sa tel no.:.....
09196927280
sagot ng call center?sex service:

Hello! Good Day to you!
Welcome to the newest
Mobile Phone Sex Services

Your current sex balance is 88
(i ate you you ate me!)
You are allowed up to 69(baligtaran)
If you want to know
about Oral Sex...press 1
about Anal Sex...press yours!
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Sex Videos
Reactions of karrubas watching sex videos

ROSE : Yaks Kadiri

PHILIP : Wow fighter

ROSALINDA : Uy galing niya

GAUDY : Putang Ina, Ako yan ah!

(JOKE LANG PO..PAEPAL LANG!)

Isang Milyong Semilya Handa Nang Magunahan Palabas:

Ready, Get Set, Go! NAG UUNAHAN PA!

Semilya 1: Wahahahaha Nauna na ako! hehehehe

Semilya 2: Ayan malapit na kitang Maunahan...

Semilya 3: Mas mabilis ako sa inyo. hehe (naka motor kasi)

Semilya 3: Oooopppps ... BALIK!!! BALIK! BALIK!

Semilya 2: Bakit Pare?

Semilya 1: Bakit ka bumabalik?

Semilya 3: MAY TAEeee!

Semilya 2: PWAK!!! (SAPUL SA TAE. Hehe)

hahahaha! ayooossss!

Hahaha. Parang na-edit yata yung role ni Kuya Gaudy? Hindi kaya? Hahaha.

ok lang yan, mas maraming scandal sa kin si Pareng Bert...hehehe

langhiya talagang buhay e2 oh...ako nanaman isinangkalan...hehehe..hayyy ang magnanakaw nga naman takot sa kapwa magnanakaw....hahahaha...ok cge maya gawa n ako scandal pre...cyber scandal..hahaha!!!

[align=center]MATAPANG!!!
MISTER: Hon,alam mo,ako ang pinakamatapang dun sa kulungan...

MISIS: Bakit naman?

MISTER: Nagpatattoo kc ako sa bird ko eh!

MISIS: Kung yan ba naman pinatattooo mo eh pinatuli mo yan,mas bibilib pa ako syo...

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MASAYA!!!
JUNIOR: Daddy,bakit umuungol si mommy kagabi?may sakit ba sya?

DADDY: Wala anak,masaya lang sya

JUNIOR: Ibig mong sabihin daddy,gabi-gabi syang masaya kahit nung nasa SAUDI ka pa???

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HIPHOP!!!
KUSTOMER: Miss,pabili nga ng condom,yung medium..

TINDERA: Dito po sir,isukat nyo po sa fitting room

KUSTOMER: Ay miss,maluwang eh...

TINDERA: Okey lang po yan sir,yan naman po ang uso ngayon..hiphop...

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TANGA!!!
TANGA: Kumusta ang quiz?

BOBO: Masama,wala akong nasagutan,blank paper nga lang ipinasa ko eh.

TANGA: Naku ako rin!!!paano yan,baka isipin ni maam nagkopyahan tayo...

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MAS TANGA!!!
BUGOY: Hoy ang tamad mo ha! dba sabi ko syo diligan mo mga halaman?

HARDINERO: Eh sir,sorry po umuulan naman po kasi eh...

BUGOY: Palusot ka pa ha! magkapote ka,tanga!!!

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kaya nga eh..inedit b naman..hehe

rosie,,, baka pweding makahingi ng kupya?
kahit pirated lang,,,,

Walang boobs: Walandyo

Maliit ang boobs: Medyo

Malaki ang boobs: Mountaindyo

Super-laking boobs: Bazzokadyo

Lawlaw na boobs: Overdyo

Bading na may boobs: Remedyo

OOOOOPPPPPSSSS! YOU ARE PREWARNED ALREADY! LAUGH YOUR HEART OUT PEOPLE!