ACOJE ONLINE COMMUNITY

WARNING:
Dont try this at home!!!


[align=center][img][img]http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff55/trevh0220/simangot1.jpg[/img][/img]
Maybe you've already seen that picture on a poster somewhere with the warning, "Bawal ang nakasimangot dito". If you want to learn how do it, and I'm sure you don't wanna learn, here's some visual guide to help you:[/align]

[align=center][b]first photo: natural image[/align]


[align=center][img][img]http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff55/trevh0220/simangot011.jpg[/img][/img][/align]

[align=center]the following photos: trying to immitate the original picture on a poster "bawal nakasimangot dito"[/align]

[align=center][img][img]http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff55/trevh0220/simangot021.jpg[/img][/img][/align]

[align=center][img][img]http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff55/trevh0220/simangot031.jpg[/img][/img][/align]

[align=center][img][img]http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff55/trevh0220/simangot041.jpg[/img][/img][/align]

[align=center][img][img]http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff55/trevh0220/simangot051.jpg[/img][/img][/align]

[align=center]and finally:[/align]

[align=center][img][img]http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff55/trevh0220/simangot061.jpg[/img][/img][/align]


HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU KARRUBAS!!!

[url=WEBSITE_HOMEuploads/get/317655][img]WEBSITE_HOMEstorage/t1/88036disney-land-is-fun-kids-__.jpg[/img][/url]

Pinoy and American

A Pinoy is having his "SNACK" (bread and ube jam), when an American man chuckling chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Pinoy ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: "You Filipino folks eat the whole bread??"

Pinoy (in a bad mood): "Of course."

American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and export them to the Philippines"

The American has a smirk on his face. The Pinoy listens in silence.

The American persists: "D'ya eat jelly with the bread??"

Pinoy : "Of Course."

American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put al the peels,seeds, and left overs in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and export them to the Philippines ."

The Pinoy (kind of pissed of) then asks: "Do you have sex in America?"

American: "Why? Of course we do", the American says with a big smirk.

Pinoy : And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

American: "We throw them away, of course."

Pinoy: "In the Philippines, we don't throw them. We put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and export them to the States."

Men Never Listen ....

kindly read on

On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several
attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had
always been occupied.

The flight attendant noticed his predicament. "Sir,"
she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise
not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he
noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each
button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a
red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched
them?

He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was
sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling,
he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things
like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA
button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently
drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large
powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent
of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure.

The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is
tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he
couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew
would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he was in a hospital. As soon as he
opened his eyes, a nurse was staring down at him with
a smirk on her face.

What happened?" he exclaimed.

You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse.
The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon
Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:


Compliment her,
Cuddle her,
Kiss her,
Caress her,
Love her,
Stroke her,
Tease her,
Comfort her,
Protect her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Spend money on her,
Wine & dine her,
Buy things for her,
Listen to her,
Care for her,
Stand by her,
Support her,
Go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked and
Bring Beer with pulutan hehehe

Why Men Have Better Friends


Friendship between Women:


A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.


Friendship between Men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:


Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize,
serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate,
stimulate, jiffy lube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify,
protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,
forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate,
entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige,
fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend,
coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromatize, fuse, fizz, rationalize,
detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept,
butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, loco mote, beg, plead, borrow, steal,
climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain,
calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt,
commit, enlist, pine, cajole, Anglicize, murmur, snuggle, snooze, snuffle,
elevate, enervate, alleviate, spot weld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste,
nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her
existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade,
flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle,
squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rocking' in
the free world, wet, slacken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble,
drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle,
amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, and start
again. huh?

On his first day on the job, the trainee dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:Â “Get me a F***ING cup of coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded:
“You fool, you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?”

“No,” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, idiot!”

The trainee shouted back:
“And do you know who YOU are F***ING talking to, you F***ING idiot?”

“No!” replied the Managing Director indignantly

“Thank F**K for that!” replied the trainee and slammed down the phone